I must apologize for my absence, though I'm sure anyone with a baby would understand. Life has been turned upside down and sideways around here, but we've been trying to get a routine down as we grow together and get used to these two new family members.
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| Stella to the left, Alice to the right |
Stella and Alice are now 12 weeks old (or 6 weeks adjusted age since they were born 6 weeks early). Both girls are growing so much and doing really well. It's so great to see their adorable little smiles and we're just waiting to hear the first giggle. They make sweet cooing noises and are getting better neck control as time goes on.
Things have been pretty tough for me. Three weeks after the c-section, only days after Alice came home from the NICU I had to have an appendectomy. I woke up with severe pain in my lower right abdomen and I couldn't even talk I was in so much pain. It was 2am and Chris called an ambulance. Turned out my appendix was "gangrenous" and ready to burst...but it' hadn't yet so the surgeon was able to remove it laparoscopically. Thankfully I only had to spend one night in the hospital, but recovering from that so soon after a c-section really took it's toll.
A few days after coming home from that surgery everything kind of fell apart. I guess the hormone drop, the physical challenge of two surgeries so close together, and exhaustion hit me and Post Partum Depression really set in. I went from one day feeling like I could do the "twin thing" to feeling as though I couldn't function as a person, let alone a mom of 2 infants. Thankfully things have gotten under control now, and after med adjustments I'm feeling much better. PPD is a scary thing.
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| Our FOUR gorgeous kids! |
I'm still facing some challenges as I adjust. Chris is still on paternity leave from work because I'm still trying to feel comfortable taking care of both girls on my own. I feel a lot of anxiety and stress when it comes to caring for both by myself but I'm working on it by attending a support group for other sufferers of PPD and also getting counselling. It's a process, but at the same time it's been great to see Chris bond with the girls and they with him. We've been enjoying the time together. The older kids really love their little sisters as well. Evelyn participates with helping with some feedings and changing diapers...Nolan gives them kisses, talks to them and loves being a big brother. It's a little hard for me since I feel pretty guilty that I can't spend as much time with the older kids as I could before and as I'd like to, but I know that the babies won't be so demanding forever.
Interestingly I was contacted by a writer for Today's Parent magazine regarding PPD. She'd come across my blog and wanted to see if I would be willing to share some of my experience in a story in a special pregnancy issue about pregnancy and depression. Look for the story in the December issue!
